Nationals Anthems » Uncategorized

Rizzo’s Reasoning on Dunn

Geordie Keitt — Wed, 29 Sep 2010 21:12:41 +0000

If Dunn should be so kind as to welcome back the grind of batting 4th behind the sainted Z

He’d refine the slugging art in our batting order’s heart while the Hammer looks the part with his new knee!

But the prospect is for naught if the influential thought is that the balls that aren’t caught by dear old Fred

Dig him such a value crater that all the bombs and all the taters that he hits to the spectators hold no cred.

Rizzo sits upon his hands, lets the players vent and fans chant their uninformed demands into deaf ears

Because the Nationals need more than 3 infielders to keep the score down to a max of 3 or 4 to win next year.

The Lerner Payroll Formula

Geordie Keitt — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 22:34:07 +0000

What is the Nationals player budget? No one knows – until now. My attempt at illumination first appeared on Ben Goessling’s MASNSports blog - (soon to be name the Four-seam Fastblog, I’m sure…).

The Lerner Payroll Formula:
Take the total debt load and divide by gross attendance
Then subtract front office payroll, stamps and paperclip expenses.
Then multiply the difference by Pythagorean wins
(As of May 24th before the bullpen tailspins)
And convert this to yuan at today’s prevailing rate
Then compare to Kansas City’s budget – doesn’t ours look great?

The Shiny Object Clause:
If it’s shiny and expensive, and our fans will eat it up,
Let’s make a phantom budget, bid, then come in runner-up.

Andre Dawson, The World’s First and Only 7-Tool Player

Geordie Keitt — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 18:35:31 +0000

As usual, this piece first appeared as a comment on Nationals Journal. Poster dargregmag (affectionately known as dargramps) wrote, “The “Hawk” was a six tool player what was his sixth tool? the brutha looked good in his uniform.” Too good to pass up – this one’s for you, dargramps.

Andre Dawson, The World’s First And Only 7 Tool Player

Dawson has skill
And looks that kill
But really, 7 tools?
Can you list ‘em? I will:
First is Speed, Second is Glove
Third we’ll give that Arm some love
Fourth is Hitting, Fifth he’s a slugger
Sixth: looks good and is a real good hugger
Seventh – now here’s what’s so special about Dawson -
He’s just completely friggin Awesome.

Ode to Genius

Geordie Keitt — Fri, 08 Jan 2010 18:30:33 +0000

I’m reposting a comment I left on The Nationals Enquirer notice of a Jackass-style BB-gun testing session featuring Adam Dunn and Ryan Zimmerman. I have my doubts about them actually being in the videos, but it was fodder for the following bit of nonsense.

Ode to Genius

Zim and Adam Dunn
Took a little BB gun
Out to a field for a drunken test run.
They loaded up the ammo
Cranked the camera and went “Blammo”,
Shot each other, laughed and said “Hey that was fun!”

Next up they snorted
PCBs but they aborted
The stunt when Dunnkeys pornstache caught aflame
Quite an anticlimax -
But the footage, filmed in IMAX,
Made the YouTube HiDef Darwin Hall of Fame!

Belliard Nonsense

Geordie Keitt — Wed, 19 Aug 2009 23:12:32 +0000

Over on the Nationals Journal blog on WaPo, there is a recurring meme that Ronnie Belliard is a) to blame for everything that goes wrong with the Nats and b) if we bash him then the Nats will win. Obviously some good material there to work with. I posted this and immediately got newposted, and also it was apropos of nothing in the discussion at the time – always a problem with trying to be topical and funny at the same time, the window closes quick.

Eeny Meanie

Bandwagon Nats Fans

Geordie Keitt — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 04:14:47 +0000

On the Nationals Journal post about the Red Sox coming to town for the interleague series, there was a lot of complaining about the mythical “pink hat” that supposed Red Sox bandwagon fans wear. I married into a Red Sox family so I know first-hand that die hard 3rd and 4th generation fans buy and wear pink Sox gear. Come on, we fans are a tiny minority on the planet who all believe that baseball matters a damn. Get along.

Bandwagon Nats Fans

Two ardent young fans of the Nats
Could care less about Austin’s stats
They’re age three and four
And love their ador -
Able pink curly W hats.

They come to the park and eat ribs
And chow down on brownies and Dibs
Which I hold in my sway
‘Til the Nats make a play
They cheer, and then eat like pigs

So Nationals games equal candy
(As long as they do something dandy)
For instilling esteem
Of the hometown team
Boy chocolate sure comes in handy!

Do bribes make them bandwagoneers?
Or pink hats that come down past their ears?
The big Church of Baseball
Has all kinds of faithful
Some just more tender in years

A sports-oriented, music and cheer-laden blog

Geordie Keitt — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 03:44:06 +0000

Hi – thanks for dropping by Nationals Anthems, my sports blog. I’m a fan of the local pro teams here in DC, with most of my love geared toward the Nats. Maybe the Redskins will win me back someday, but that’s another story. I was fortunate to marry into a Boston family in 2002, so I’ve been blessed with a lot of winning teams to cheer for with my in-laws, so some of the content here will touch on Red Sox and Patriots issues as well.
I’m really here to increase the variety of cheers and chants and songs we yell out at Nats games. There’s a Nats blog, Nats 320, that claims to have made up cheers for every player. I haven’t heard them all, though I’d love to. Meantime, I’m making up my own, and I hope they all get sung at one time or another.