Nationals Anthems

Cartaldo of Nationals Journal posted the following on this Acta-firing-watch thread on the eve of an interleague series against the Yankees:

We are going to sweep the yankees, win 40 games in a row to get above 500..make it to and win the world series, and then they will make a blockbuster movie about the 2009 Nats.

It will be titled the

NATS

…the team that made the greatest comeback in the history of man kind.

And a few days ago Tracee Hamilton posted this awesome title to NJ: Haunted by Lastings Milledge.

I could not let this material go to waste. I posted this earlier this AM but haven’t seen it hit NJ yet, could be the ganja reference?

NATS: The Team That Made The Greatest Comeback In The History Of Mankind

In June of ought-nine while the weather was fine
In NatsTown big trouble was brewing.
The fans did lament the Nat’s winning percent-
Age and cried “They don’t know what they’re doing!
Those Lerners and Stan – they don’t have a plan,
they’re just Gawd-awful nickel-and-dimers!”
But one fateful night the Nats fortunes took flight
when they called one man up from the minors.

Stan fired Riggs, and replaced him with Dibs;
On the flight to New York fired Acta.
And taking a hint from NJ, fired Clint
Just to complete the trifecta.
One last call was made, and in secret was laid
The groundwork for Nationals glory.
(A genius recluse boards a plane from the ‘Cuse
And steps to the front in this story.)

When he met the press Stan said “Let me address
The rumors of Manny’s departure:
We finally tired of of his ganja supplier
Jacking the price of our sparker.
That weed was the best – oh but I digress
(What, you thought he was just overmatched
By some stupid ump? the dude was so crunked
That the ball looked like 8 grams of hash.)

Let me introduce, fresh from Syracuse
The leader of our little village –
Our new lineup wielder -
Our old center fielder –
I give you now – Lastings Milledge!”
With a wave of his hand, Stan gave Milledge command
Of the rickety ship they were sailing,
But quick as that night Lastings put all to right
And cured every last ill that was ailing.

Milledge told Guzman “You want us to lose, man?
Or are you gonna play second base?”
Milledge then caused him to take infield ad nauseum
‘Til Guzman at last took his place.
So started the reign of King Milledge Met-Bane
And everyone fell into line then.
Johnson played right – Dunn would pitch every night
Or wherever King Milledge assigned them.

The Yanks found they all swung and missed at the ball
Whether Stammen or Harris was throwing
And every swing scorched a shot to the right porch
When the sacrifice bunt sign was showing.
The Red Sox up next were equally hexed
With the Nats in the opposite dugout;
Seeing big Adam Dunn throw a hundred and one
Made poor li’l Pedroia’s eyes bug out.

Back home the change was deep and far-ranged:
As the wins piled up so did viewers;
The park was sold out when it wasn’t too cold out,
And the ratings emerged from the sewers.
Wins upon victories – never in history
Had any seen ought that approached it
And every team tried to wriggle inside
The head of King Milledge who coached it
But to no avail – all who tried failed
To discern any method or pattern.
As far as they knew the man wasn’t a human –
he may as well hail from Saturn.

The Nats kept on streaking with no sign of peaking
As twenty straight grew up to thirty
And the umps who had dissed ‘em now couldn’t resist ‘em
And gave them calls often and early.
Their record soon evened, past Balto and Cleveland
They clawed their way into contention
And the scribes lent an ear and soon “X of the Year”
Bids were flying with Nats being mentioned.

What’s left to say? We all know the way
That the story played out through October:
The Nationals swept both the Phillies and Mets
And no one in DC was sober
When our Nats left the Yankees to their pinstriped hankies
Dabbing at eyes filled with tearage
As Milledge claimed his crown as the King of NatsTown –
And the Nats put all others in steerage!